Saturday, August 4, 2012

Is he real?

The age old he real? Does Mr. Perfect exist? Us women are always talking about Mr. Perfect and Mr. Right and I think I finally have the answer to the question as to whether or not there even IS such a thing.

The last few days have been a little bit of hell on earth. My c-section incision got infected. Since Wednesday, I've been feeling not so awesome. I've had the chills and the sweats intermittently. Headaches with nausea and dizziness have been coming and going and my incision feels like it's on fire 100% of the day. We were scheduled to take Tessa in for a weight check on Thursday at 3:30pm. But when I called my OB about all of my symptoms, they told me to come in at 3:30pm. Lovely. Did I take my daughter for her weight check or feel like a crappy mom and put her appointment on hold to get my incision checked out?? We ended up rescheduling her appointment to Monday and going to my OB. Cue the bad mom feelings. That's where my guilt started.

After being diagnosed with the infection, we got home and things were going okay. And then I started having another problem. One common to post partum, but a little too personal to go into detail about :) Let's just say it put me out of the game I basically laid on the couch, feeling like an old, helpless woman while my husband ran the household like a champ. I turned into an emotional mess and cried about every 30 minutes because I felt worthless and sorry for my husband who was having to take care of THREE people at once. I was also in so much pain, I may have been slightly delirious ,but I felt guilty that I wasn't able to play with Tommy or hold Tessa and that I was putting myself before them. I had no other choice--no matter how much I WANTED to get up and do those things, my body wouldn't let me. But it still felt crappy to put  my children and my husband after myself. There was truly no place for things to go but up.

And they finally seem to have gotten better. My incision isn't hurting quite so bad. The personal problem resolved itself last night (thank you JESUS!!). I'm feeling much better overall. But all that backstory is to give you the answer to the question every woman asks....

Sorry to tell you girls, but Mr. Perfect does not exist. There is no man on earth that does everything right, every day of every week.

But luckily, I have found Mr. Perfect-for-me. If I had gotten NOTHING else out of this last two weeks, it would have all been worth it to discover what I've discovered about my husband. I've always known what a good man he is, but it's never been proved quite as much as in the last few day. Before Tessa came, I was getting super irritable and grumpy, usually with Nick. He put up with it because I had a fairly legitimate reason.....I was growing a person! But that was nothing compared to what he's does for me the last few weeks. He has been my go-to man. He has made sure that I have everything I could possibly need to be comfortable. He's taken SUCH good care of Tommy and Tessa while I wasn't able to. He has cooked and cleaned every single day. When I cried every 30 minutes, he was there every 30 minutes, holding my hand and telling me not to worry about things and that he had it under control. He ran to the store twice in one day to get me the things I needed to get better. He put himself at the bottom of the totem pole and made sure that his family was taken care of, first and foremost. He's lost several hours of sleep due to me and our daugher. He's not really done a lot of relaxing on his week and a half off. But the thing that sticks out the most is he hasn't complained. Not one single, solitary negative word has come out of his mouth. I can't honestly say if I would be able to do the same.

I wish so bad there was something I could say or do that would get across to him how much he means to me and how grateful I am that I found Mr. Perfect-for-me and that it's him. I can only hope he knows how much I appreciate him and love him.

So girls, remember, there's NOBODY in the world that's going to be perfect. But there is someone that's perfect for you. They might do things that drive you nuts sometimes or say things that make you cringe or a million other things that boys do.......but if they're willing to bend over backwards to take care of you or to make you happy, hold on to them. It's hard to find and even harder to keep, but God has blessed me so much.

Nick, you are everything I could've asked for and more. I love you so much and am SO glad you're my husband and the father of our children.

1 comment:

thehobbs said...

So sorry you've been having a hard time! But so glad you are feeling better. Keep an eye on that incision! And I'm fairly certain I know what your personal problem was bc I had the same problem! :) Oh the joys of being postpartum. ;)
Way to go Nick! When the going gets tough, it's never more comforting than to know you have someone who will step up to the plate.
Now...when you are feeling back to 100%, I have a little boy who's been bugging me to meet his "Tessie-Pooh". :)