Monday, August 13, 2012

Wound-schmound

So I went to the wound care clinic at Wesley today. I had high hopes. My doctor's words were, "We'll send you to them because they can fix in a week what it would take us months to do." So I was encouraged and thinking this was the beginning of the end of my incision problem.

My appointment was at 12:30pm. Smartly, I planned to leave my house by 11:15am because I KNEW there would be set backs. Nick's back on 3rd shift this week and Brooke's on her honeymoon (SO jealous!!) so last night was my first night of getting the kids to bed by myself and then getting them up and around this morning by myself. And it was hectic. By some miracle, Tessa only woke up once (thank you JESUS!!) at about 5am and Tommy slept until 8:45am, so we were all decently rested up. But by the time I got them downstairs along with all the stuff we would need for the next few hours, it took about 45 minutes :) Then I had to get myself showered and ready to be at my appointment. Luckily, Tommy's favorite shows were on and he kept himself pretty entertained. We ended up leaving the house (with a small bit of help from Nick after Tessa started screaming and woke him up) at about 11:40am. Not too bad! That gave us 35 minutes before we had to meet my mom and get to my appointment.

But of course, Tommy decided to take the world's smelliest pooh as soon as I got him buckled in. And Tessa decided she was STARVING while we were driving into Wichita, so I had to try to make a bottle. We stopped at McDonald's and got Tommy and myself something to eat since we were actually a little ahead of time. Then we met my mom at the Walgreens parking lot, where I changed Tommy's diaper in the front seat and discovered I had forgotten Tessa's binky. I went inside while Mom helped Tommy eat his lunch and bought an $8 pacifier--because of course, Walgreens can't sell anything at a REASONABLE price!! EIGHT DOLLARS?!? Really??? But oh well. I knew she'd need it while they were waiting for me to finish my appointment.

We headed over to Wesley and I got checked in right at 12:30pm (thank goodness I left so early). My mom's plan was to watch them in the waiting room because when I called to confirm my appointment, the receptionist had told me all the doctor's would do today is look at it and it would only take about 30 minutes. Tommy decided to start throwing a fit as soon as we were inside because I wouldn't let him run away from me--such a horrible mom, huh? My mom had Tessa in a carrier and swore up and down she'd be fine chasing Tommy around while I was being seen. I got called back 30 minutes after my appointment time. They took me to a private room and went through all my medical history, which took another 15 minutes.

Then, the nurse started poking around. And it hurt. Bad. Turns out, there's actually TWO holes in my incision and they connect underneath my skin. She showed me this by shoving the wooden end of a sterile q-tip through one hole and poking it out the other. Awesome. After she did her thing, then Dr. McDonald came in. I actually really liked him. He decided he needed to numb me up and "poke around" some more. That consisted of putting a crap ton of lidocaine gel inside my wound and waiting 15 minutes for everything to numb up (notice, all together, it's already 1 hour after my appt time--so much for 30 minutes!). Then, he took a foot-long metal instrument with a scoop on the end of it and stuck it as far down into my wound as it would go.......which was 6 1/2 cm. Gag. I couldn't watch. I saw half the instrument disappear into my stomach and decided it would be best if I looked away. After he finally finished scooping out the "yucky stuff," they decided to lavage it (basically they power-washed my insides). They stuck this long tube into one of the holes and used something that looks like a squirt gun to shoot a bag of water into me and then another tube sucked it out. It wasn't horribly bad, but it was definitely uncomfortable. She said next time, I could try the lavage without numbing it. I laughed at her. Then they packed it with some kind of gauze that has silver in it.

And then.........THEN came the really bad part. The doctor did a Q&A session. He informed me throughout this that he felt it necessary for me to come in 3 times a week to have my wound cleaned and repacked. THREE. As in, every other day. THEEEEEN, he told me he thought it would take 2 1/2 to 3 months to heal. Really?? So I basically got told I'd be going to their office every other day for 3 months. I'm sorry, but wasn't the point of the wound clinic to get it done quicker than my OB could? My hopes were dashed in a matter of seconds. How am I supposed to get to the doctor 3 times a week with two babies and no baby-sitter (at least for this week)? I held it together until I started driving home. Both kids fell asleep and I lost it--had a big old sob session all the way to my house. I am so, SO tired of dealing with this stupid incision. Isn't it enough to go through a major surgery once and have a newborn to take care of?! I'm just frustrated. It seems like nothing is really changing or getting better. I don't WANT to deal with this for 3 months.

But I heard a song on the way home that seemed to speak right to my heart. "I shall believe" came on K-Love and one of the lines is:

Open the door
And show me your face tonight
I know it's true,
no one heals me like you
And you hold the key

It made me realize I haven't been praying and trusting God like I should be.  I just get mad and frustrated and talk to Nick and my mom, but I need to be turning to God. HE is the ultimate healer and even if He isn't necessarily healing me right this moment, I know I should be leaning on HIM and trusting HIM instead of just relying on myself and doctors to make things better. Hard to remember sometimes, but He sends me the perfect reminders at the perfect time.

God, give me grace in my times of distrust and disappointment. Help me to remember who's in charge!! And please, PLEASE God, heal my incision!!! I'm over it!

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