Friday, August 31, 2012

Girls just wanna have fun!

Let me start this post by saying I love my kids more than anything on earth. Truly, I do. But sometimes, they drive me bat-shit crazy make life a little hectic. Since I've been on maternity leave, I've been with one or both of the kids 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Now, some people have said I've been on vacation.........let me clear that up for you folks. While maternity leave IS better than being at work and I DO enjoy being with my kids, it is NOT vacation. Vacation is going somewhere different and relaxing and having housekeeping services pick up after you and going out to eat so you don't have to cook. Maternity leave is waking up whenever your kids wake up, making breakfast, feeding a newborn every few hours, making sure your toddler is doing something other than playing in the trash or toilet water, making lunch, trying to get them both down for naps, changing poopy diapers, wiping snotty noses, drying tears, burping babies, making dinner, doing laundry, picking up the house........it's just a little busier than vacation.

But anyways, I feel like a new woman today. I got a break from all of that for a few hours! My husband gave me the best anniversary present I've gotten--money and time by myself to go spend the money!! He kept saying that he felt bad that I was going shopping alone and I tried to reassure him that I was perfectly fine being alone!

I hopped in my Jeep with nary a diaper bag or carseat in tow! I was almost giddy and may have even laughed a little as I was backing out of the drive way. I turned my music up loud, kept my rear view mirror fixed on the road instead of the back seat and yelled profanities at the reckless drivers in Wichita--you know, all the crazy things mom's want to do but can't when their kids are in the car. I was cruising down the turnpike and decided that I would go to......wait for it......it's kinda crazy!!...............KMART!!! That's right, I blew all my money in one wild store ;)

It was just Kmart, but I really had SUCH a good time! I prayed before I went that it would be a good shopping trip. Silly to some, probably, but I hate going shopping and having one of those days where nothing fits, nothing's on sale and you just end up feeling bummed about the whole trip. I walked in the front door and immediately knew my prayer had been answered! My favorite makeup, which is normally $12 a bottle and I had JUST used my last drop of, was on sale for $2.50! I bought 2 bottles. Then, I made my way to the clearance rack. And hit the jackpot! I found a pair of shorts (the ONLY pair I could find in the whole store, mind you) in my size and they fit perfectly and were only $7. Then, I found a shirt that I had actually seen the last time I was there, but didn't want to pay full price for. It was on clearance for $7 too. Score! THEN, I found THE perfect pair of jeans. I'd been in jean depression because nothing fit right after I had Tessa except my maternity jeans and those were just beyond wearable anymore because they were so worn out. But these jeans fit perfectly and were the exact color (dark wash) that I'd been wanting.

But it gets better.........after I found my clothes, I went to the shoes. Heaven on earth, my friends. A TON of their sandals were on clearance and then they were 50% off the clearance price!! I got FOUR pairs of sandals for $18! Amazing! I was so excited about all of my finds that I had to call my mom and text pictures to my sister. The best part was that when I was trying it on, I felt good about myself. I know that might sound trivial, but I've been in a total fashion funk. It's been 5 weeks since I've worn anything other than shorts and t-shirts. I put make up on, but my hair's always in a ponytail and not much effort goes into what I wear or accessorize with. I know that's part of being the mother of a toddler and newborn, but it felt really good to see myself in nice clothes and shoes and to know that I could wear them when we go out for our anniversary so Nick will get to see me looking something other than homeless :)

So my evening has been one of the best I've had in a long time. It was so refreshing to get out and be alone and go places without worrying about making sure I had diapers or formula or a clean outfit for each kid. I felt carefree and foot-loose! I got to go have some FUN!! It was so nice and I'm so gratefuly to my husband for the shopping spree and watching the kids...........

But it sure was nice to come home to the pitter patter of little feet and Tommy saying, "Mom!!" when I walked through the door!

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Late-night conversations

My little guy has been a lot of work lately. Totally worth EVERY second, but I'm talkin a LOT of work. He's been sick lately, so we took him to the doctor when we took Tessa for her 1 month check up. He needed his 18 month immunizations anyways, so I figured it was a good time. Well come to find out, he has bronchitis so they put him on a steroid and on albuterol. That explains why he's been so stinkin whiny and mopey lately.

Our biggest fight has been with sleeping and bed time. He REFUSES to nap unless he's held down until he goes to sleep or he falls asleep in the car when we leave Brooke's. So I haven't been pushing naptime a whole lot. But bed time........that's a whole other story. Since Nick went to 3rd shift about a year ago, he'd been falling asleep in the bed with me and then I would move him to his bed and he would sleep there the rest of the night. It was usually a 5-10 minute process. He cuddled up and fell asleep very quickly, so I loved laying with him in bed untel he conked out. But lately (since Tessa's been born), bed time has been a HUGE pain in the butt. He refuses to lay down and tosses and turns. I try to hold him down so he'll be still, but he yells, pinches, hits........pretty much everything he knows he's NOT supposed to do but he's so mad about being put to bed that he acts out that way. It's SO frustrating because I get onto him and he laughs. As a mom, I honestly don't think there's anything more annoying than that!!

So I decided my new mission would be to get him to fall asleep in his own bed. I was dreading it because he's recently seemed to become afraid of the dark. Not sure why, but he won't go in a room if the light's not on. I knew I'd have to sit in his room until he fell asleep or it would be a battle that made both of us crazy. So Tuesday was the night I decided to start. I put him into his bed and he got up a few times and ran to my bedroom before I could catch him (he's stinkin FAST!). He kept pointing to our bed and saying, "Up! Up!" It made me sad because I know it's my fault and he doesn't know any better, but I kept picking him up and putting him back in bed. He finally laid still and fell asleep in about 10 minutes with me sitting beside him. Then on Wednesday........well, things didn't go that well :) I got him laid down and Tessa was sleeping in her bassinet right outside his bedroom door so I could listen for her at the same time. He was riiiiight on the verge of sleep when she started grunting and making noises. His little eyeballs immediately flew open and thus began our late night converstaion.............

Tommy: Uh-oh! Dess (this means Tessa)!! Dess! Uh oh.
Me: Sissy's okay. Let's go to sleep.
Tommy: Dooba-dooba dah (he says this phrase ALL. THE. TIME. No idea what it means).
Me:Shhhh........close your eyes
Tommy: Dog! Wuff. Dog!! Uh-oh.
Me: The doggy's barking loud, isn't he? Now get some rest.
Tommy: No, no!! Dog HUSH!
Me: CLOSE your EYES!
Tommy: Mom! Dad! Dog! Dooba-dooba dah! Uh-oh.........Dess!
Me:Tommy! Sleep! Now!!

I was on the verge of getting SUPER frustrated when his eyelids started drooping and I could tell he was a goner. He started to say something and I stopped myself from getting onto him again. Because even if it's an hour long process, there is nothing sweeter than watching your baby give in to sleep. When their eyelashes start fluttering.......their breathing evens out.......their head starts drooping to the side. They're just so peaceful and beautiful in that moment. His little lips puckered up and in his sleep, his hand reached out for mine. And every exhausting, draining moment from that day melted away and I tried to memorize the way he looked and smelled and our late night conversation. Because there will be some day when he won't want to talk to me. He won't need me to sit by his bed or tuck him in. And even if all he's saying is Dooba-dooba dah over and OVER again, it's the best conversation I could ever have.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Playing catch up and a photo shoot

This is kind of a random catch up post, so bear with me!

We've had a lot of THIS going on lately............
Lot's of runny, snotty, crusty noses with bad attitudes!

This poor little guy has been feeling miserable since Thursday. He started getting a runny nose and then the next day, he started running a low grade fever. His drainage was so bad that on Friday night, he threw up in bed. It scared him to death and we felt so bad for him that we let him crawl into bed with us for the rest of the night. I felt bad that he was sick, but this kid is CUH-RAZY to sleep with! He tosses and turns and kicks non-stop. So me and Nick didn't get much sleep, but he slept better with us :) He FINALLY seems to be getting better. We've been giving him over the counter cold medicine and I think it's doing the trick. Fingers crossed he's done with it and that it didn't get passed on to Tessa!!

On a brighter note, I've been released from my tri-weekly appointments at the wound care clinic! Thank you, Jesus!! It is truly an answer to prayer. I still have my wounds, but they said they've healed drastically and so much quicker than they anticipated that now my family can start packing it at home and I don't have to go back for TWO WHOLE WEEKS! That made my day! I was reeeeeeaaaaly getting tired of driving 30 minutes both ways to see a nurse for 5 minutes.

We did a little one-month photo shoot of Tessa (a few days late, but that's okay!) and I wanted some of Tommy and the three of us together. They turned out okay but neither Tessa or Tommy was in a good mood and it was REALLY hot outside, so these are the best I got!













I love my babies! I need to get a family picture taken soon! Tessa seems to grow by the minute and I feel like every time I see a picture of her, she looks completely different.

Not much else going on around here! We're pretty boring and that's the way I like it!

Saturday, August 25, 2012

One month old

Has it really already been a month? One month since the most dramatic day of my life?? A WHOLE month since that baby girl came into our lives? Crazy. I cannot believe that she's already been here that long.

Tessa, at one month old, you are:

*weighing in at 11 lbs!! Holy smokes! You've gained 3 lbs since you were born. I'd believe it with the way you eat!

*23 inches long. You've grown 2 1/2 inches since birth. You're gonna be tall like daddy :)

*in size 1 diapers. They're a little big, but the newborns were just getting way to small. They need a NB and a half size!

*wearing mostly 0-3 month clothes. All of the pants are huge on you so you are wearing NB pants, but the NB onesies were getting too short and pulling on your shoulders.

*just the sweetest little thing. You aren't real cuddly, but you just have a sweet personality about you.

*still so little, but getting so big! Sometimes I look at you and can't believe how much you've grown and sometimes I look at you and feel like you're still so little an fragile!!

*eating like a champ! Seriously. Other than sleep, it's all you do. You eat anywhere between 4 to 8 oz with each feeding.

*sleep a LOT. I don't remember your brother sleeping near this much (which may be why I was slightly crazier with him). You sleep for 6-8 hours at a time (which I think is why you're eating so much when we feed you--you've gone HOURS without food!). I really, REALLY appreciate that you sleep so well. It makes my nights much easier.

*have smiled and it is the best thing in the world. You started around 2 weeks. It's not in response to anything yet, but I just love that you're smiling! You have a dimple in your right cheek and I'm so glad because I've always loved dimples .Your little face is just so darling when you're smiling.

*finally moving past your massive spit up phase. For awhile, you were getting greedy and eating WAAAAY too much and you would spit up out your mouth and nose. It was scary and messy! But you've slowed down when you eat and haven't done that for about a week and a half now.

*pretty laid back. Your brother tries to mess with you a lot and you take it in stride. I'm hoping this attitude continues because I have a feeling your brother will continue messing with you for maaaaaany years to come.

*still dark headed with dark blue eyes. I hope you keep your blue eyes--they're so pretty! I especially love the combination of the dark brown hair with the blue eyes on my sweet little girl



*already ornery. Your timing is unbelievable sometimes! You always wait until your brother's asleep to start crying. You wait until we have your diaper off to pee. And today, you pooped all over your daddy when he was changing your diaper.......and then you smiled! It was hilarious!!

*already done with a lot of your "firsts." You've been shopping, to your first baseball game, been in your first wedding and had your first date! Whew! That's a lot to accomplish in 1 month!!

Tessa, you aren't doing a whole lot yet since you're still so little, but you are SUCH a joy in our lives. I sometimes still find myself in awe that we have a daughter now. I feel so lucky and blessed and privileged to be your momma! I can't wait to see the little girl you're going to grow up to be. I know we have many years of fun (and drama) ahead of us! I love you, sweet pea!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

It's about time!

So my friend Stacia and I were pregnant together and had due dates that were only 4 days apart. We were so excited to have babies at the same time and since I was having a girl and she was having a boy, we bethrothed them (unbeknownst to them, of course!).

We ended up having them only 1 day apart. Spencer Evan Hobbs was born on July 24th and Tess was born on July 25th. And they were born in the same hospital on the same floor (possibly even in the same OR!!!). But here's the kicker. Stacia was on the 3rd floor after delivery and I was on the 5th. Due to security reasons (aka--the little tracking bracelets they put on babies ankles in the hospital) we couldn't take our babies off of the floor they were currently on. I didn't know this until today, but if you try to take a baby on the elevator with their ankle monitor on, it shuts down the elevator. It also locks the door to the stairs if you try to take the stairs. Good thing I didn't try that because it had crossed my mind!!

So even though we delivered 1 day apart in the same facility, we had to arrange for Spencer and Tess to meet OUTSIDE of the hospital. And it FINALLY happened today! We went to Stacia's house for awhile this morning and had a good time seeing big brother Landon and little baby Spence. He's so cute! He got all dressed up in his tie onesie :)
Tessa wanted to look her best for Spencer so we pulled out one of our cutest bows!
We woke Spencer up from his nap for these pictures and he wasn't too sure how he felt about it 
But Tessa was all puckered up and ready for some kisses!

Spencer was NOT having it. He let his mommy know how he felt about kissing.
But he DID finally decide it was okay to put his arm around her. You can tell by her face she loved it :)

When it was time to go, he had to have one last goodbye.

Isn't this too precious?!? Her first hand-hold with a boy other than her brother!!
Our photo session was kind of rough. It's really hard to get too floppy babies to sit up without falling over for more than 5 seconds :) But I'm glad they got to finally meet!! It was about time! Now if only we can convince them to get married someday...................

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

19 months

I'm a few days late on Tommy's 19 month post, but better late than never! That's my motto in life right now. Doing anything with 2 kids is SO much more time consuming than having one!!
Tommy, at 19 months, you are:
*weighing in at 28lbs

 *34 inches tall........and I can TOTALLY tell you've had a growth spurt. You're getting so tall and skinny!
*in 18 month clothes for the most part. You wear some 24 month shirts because the 18month neck holes are too small and they're usually too short :)

*still wearing a size 5 diaper

*in size 7 shoes
 *the pickiest eater EVER. It gets kind of frustrating. Some days you don't stop eating and some days I can't get you to take a bite of anything. And some days you eat meat, some days you don't. I never know what to give you that you'll actually eat because it seems to change by the minute!!And you're SOOOO messy! We always strip you down to eat!
*hilarious! You make us laugh every day. You get the orneriest grin when you know you're doing something naughty and it's so funny but we have to hide our faces so you don't know we're laughing :) You've also started doing this fake belly laugh and I have NO idea where you got it, but it is SO funny!
*SO smart. You know exactly what we're talking about when we ask you to do something and are constantly doing something new. I'm starting to get cautious about what we say around you because of how much you understand and repeat!
*the BEST big brother! You love Tessa so much. Sometimes we have to make you stop kissing her because you smother her to death! You like to try to hold her bottle and every time she cries you say, "Uh oh!" You get really upset when she's crying hard and pull on our hands to come help her when we're not doing it fast enough for your standards :)

*still repeating a lot of words, but not using too many of them consistanly. You've added the words up, off and on to your vocabulary. And EVERYTHING is dog. We'll say, "Who's here?" and your immediate response is, "Dog!" So funny!
*acting like a 15 year old at times. The other day, you had my phone and you handed it to me and said, "Mom." When I didn't grab it right away, you thrust it in my face and yelled, "MOM!!" until I took it! Today you were playing with your friend Mallory and you took something she had. I told you to give it back and you rolled your eyes and let out a big sigh and handed it back to her. I think you're gonna have some serious attitude when you're older!!
*not very good at sharing yet. You've just lately been going back to Aunt Brooke's daycare and playing with your friends. You're learning, but you do a lot of toy-stealing. I'm trying REALLY hard to be patient and teach you but I get so frustrated because I don't want you to be "that kid."
*getting yourself into time-out a lot. We'd been doing time-out in your pack and play so you wouldn't be able to get out, but lately we've been putting you in your bedroom on your bed and most of the time, you actually stay put. We make you "apologize" by giving a hug and a kiss after you get out of time-out. It's really kind of cute because as soon as we let you up, you run to whoever got onto you and pucker your lips up for a kiss.

*getting friendlier! You didn't used to give out hugs and kisses to hardly anyone but now if someone's leaving, you'll say bye and it takes a little coaxing, but you'll give them a quick hug and kiss. So sweet!

Tommy, I have LOVED seeing you in your new role as big brother. It's taught me a lot more about your personality and how tender-hearted you really can be. I'm so excited to watch you grow each day and I can't wait to see what life has in store for you! 19 months is not so far away from 2 years old--and I can't BELIEVE that it's that close already! You're growing up so fast, baby boy. I'm glad that I can still tell you you're my favorite son :) Because you are so awesome and I hope you always, ALWAYS know how loved you are. Your daddy and I think you are so special and feel so blessed to have you in our lives!

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Go Nuts!!

We had our first family outing last night. I was a little leery, but we tried it and I'm so glad we did! My brother texted me around 5pm and asked if we would want to come to a Wichita Wingnuts game at 7pm. I wanted to go so we could get out of the house and go do something as a family, but since it was later in the evening, I was worried Tommy would get tired really quick and be restless and bratty. But we decided to give it a shot.

We ran by Gander Mountain before we went to the stadium, so we didn't get there until the 2nd inning. Which was fine, because I had a feeling we weren't going to make it through the whole game anyways. We got the kids out of the car and made it to the ticket booth. Tommy only escaped once, which I counted as a victory because I had planned on chasing him at least 5 times :) We met my brother inside and I was glad that the stands were fairly empty because it meant Tommy could be loud and have a little moving room without driving people crazy. We settled in and started watching the game.


Tessa was thrilled with the whole thing--obviously.
 Tommy had fun watching the game with Uncle Brandon.
 Towards the end of the game, he started getting worn out and wanted to be on one of our laps.
 I love my boy!
 There was a Chick-fil-a cow there that Tommy was PETRIFIED of. He hated it! It was kind of hilarious.
He really enjoyed "watching" the game. He'd point and yell, "BALL!" every 30 seconds. Too cute!
 He kept looking up at these HUGE moths that were flying around above us and going, "Oooooo!"
 His goldfish kept him happy at the 8th inning. The game was taking FOREVER and after 2 trips to the bathroom to keep him entertained, the goldfish did the trick.

We're not huge baseball fans and I HATE that their name is the Wichita Wingnuts, but it was a fun and fairly cheap night of fun for all of us! Me and Nick particularly enjoyed when everyone would yell, "GO NUTS!!" We didn't have any major meltdowns and only had to change one dirty diaper on the bleachers :) Tommy did great and Tessa slept the whole time. I got pooped out and they were tied at the end of the 9th inning, so we left before overtime and the fireworks. Was kinda bummed to miss those, but it was 10:15pm and I knew we were pushing our luck with Tommy. Both  kids slept hard on the way home and Tessa didn't wake up until 4am for her bottle, so we got in a lot of good hours of sleep! Hopefully our next family outing goes this well!

Monday, August 13, 2012

Wound-schmound

So I went to the wound care clinic at Wesley today. I had high hopes. My doctor's words were, "We'll send you to them because they can fix in a week what it would take us months to do." So I was encouraged and thinking this was the beginning of the end of my incision problem.

My appointment was at 12:30pm. Smartly, I planned to leave my house by 11:15am because I KNEW there would be set backs. Nick's back on 3rd shift this week and Brooke's on her honeymoon (SO jealous!!) so last night was my first night of getting the kids to bed by myself and then getting them up and around this morning by myself. And it was hectic. By some miracle, Tessa only woke up once (thank you JESUS!!) at about 5am and Tommy slept until 8:45am, so we were all decently rested up. But by the time I got them downstairs along with all the stuff we would need for the next few hours, it took about 45 minutes :) Then I had to get myself showered and ready to be at my appointment. Luckily, Tommy's favorite shows were on and he kept himself pretty entertained. We ended up leaving the house (with a small bit of help from Nick after Tessa started screaming and woke him up) at about 11:40am. Not too bad! That gave us 35 minutes before we had to meet my mom and get to my appointment.

But of course, Tommy decided to take the world's smelliest pooh as soon as I got him buckled in. And Tessa decided she was STARVING while we were driving into Wichita, so I had to try to make a bottle. We stopped at McDonald's and got Tommy and myself something to eat since we were actually a little ahead of time. Then we met my mom at the Walgreens parking lot, where I changed Tommy's diaper in the front seat and discovered I had forgotten Tessa's binky. I went inside while Mom helped Tommy eat his lunch and bought an $8 pacifier--because of course, Walgreens can't sell anything at a REASONABLE price!! EIGHT DOLLARS?!? Really??? But oh well. I knew she'd need it while they were waiting for me to finish my appointment.

We headed over to Wesley and I got checked in right at 12:30pm (thank goodness I left so early). My mom's plan was to watch them in the waiting room because when I called to confirm my appointment, the receptionist had told me all the doctor's would do today is look at it and it would only take about 30 minutes. Tommy decided to start throwing a fit as soon as we were inside because I wouldn't let him run away from me--such a horrible mom, huh? My mom had Tessa in a carrier and swore up and down she'd be fine chasing Tommy around while I was being seen. I got called back 30 minutes after my appointment time. They took me to a private room and went through all my medical history, which took another 15 minutes.

Then, the nurse started poking around. And it hurt. Bad. Turns out, there's actually TWO holes in my incision and they connect underneath my skin. She showed me this by shoving the wooden end of a sterile q-tip through one hole and poking it out the other. Awesome. After she did her thing, then Dr. McDonald came in. I actually really liked him. He decided he needed to numb me up and "poke around" some more. That consisted of putting a crap ton of lidocaine gel inside my wound and waiting 15 minutes for everything to numb up (notice, all together, it's already 1 hour after my appt time--so much for 30 minutes!). Then, he took a foot-long metal instrument with a scoop on the end of it and stuck it as far down into my wound as it would go.......which was 6 1/2 cm. Gag. I couldn't watch. I saw half the instrument disappear into my stomach and decided it would be best if I looked away. After he finally finished scooping out the "yucky stuff," they decided to lavage it (basically they power-washed my insides). They stuck this long tube into one of the holes and used something that looks like a squirt gun to shoot a bag of water into me and then another tube sucked it out. It wasn't horribly bad, but it was definitely uncomfortable. She said next time, I could try the lavage without numbing it. I laughed at her. Then they packed it with some kind of gauze that has silver in it.

And then.........THEN came the really bad part. The doctor did a Q&A session. He informed me throughout this that he felt it necessary for me to come in 3 times a week to have my wound cleaned and repacked. THREE. As in, every other day. THEEEEEN, he told me he thought it would take 2 1/2 to 3 months to heal. Really?? So I basically got told I'd be going to their office every other day for 3 months. I'm sorry, but wasn't the point of the wound clinic to get it done quicker than my OB could? My hopes were dashed in a matter of seconds. How am I supposed to get to the doctor 3 times a week with two babies and no baby-sitter (at least for this week)? I held it together until I started driving home. Both kids fell asleep and I lost it--had a big old sob session all the way to my house. I am so, SO tired of dealing with this stupid incision. Isn't it enough to go through a major surgery once and have a newborn to take care of?! I'm just frustrated. It seems like nothing is really changing or getting better. I don't WANT to deal with this for 3 months.

But I heard a song on the way home that seemed to speak right to my heart. "I shall believe" came on K-Love and one of the lines is:

Open the door
And show me your face tonight
I know it's true,
no one heals me like you
And you hold the key

It made me realize I haven't been praying and trusting God like I should be.  I just get mad and frustrated and talk to Nick and my mom, but I need to be turning to God. HE is the ultimate healer and even if He isn't necessarily healing me right this moment, I know I should be leaning on HIM and trusting HIM instead of just relying on myself and doctors to make things better. Hard to remember sometimes, but He sends me the perfect reminders at the perfect time.

God, give me grace in my times of distrust and disappointment. Help me to remember who's in charge!! And please, PLEASE God, heal my incision!!! I'm over it!

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Update

I hate to curse things........but I THINK I'm finally on the better side of this stupid c-section thing. I went to my OB yesterday. She said my incision is still draining, but not as quickly as she'd like. It's not infected yet, but if it doesn't drain faster, it could go that way quickly. She set me up for an appointment with the Wound Care Clinic at Wesley. Oh brother. I am SO over this incision. BUT.....I have been FEELING so much better. I haven't had any pain meds for 4-5 days and I can finally walk without feeling like I'm popping a stitch every other step. I think draining it has made the whole area around the incision not so tight and uncomfortable. So I'm okay with the wound care clinic thing since I've seen progress in the last few days.

Not to mention, Tessa has been sleeping better the last few nights, so mentally I've had a 100% turn around. It's AMAZING what a few good hours of sleep can do for a person. Brooke and I have been whipping out craft projects for her wedding like you wouldn't believe! And I've showered AND put make up on for FOUR days in a row now! Trust me--that's a huge accomplishment for me in these past two weeks :)

Speaking of which, I can't believe Tessa is already 2 weeks old. But at the same time, I can't believe it's only been 2 weeks. On the one hand it feels like she's been in my life forever and on the other, she's still so tiny and fresh and new. But I already know so much about her! She's gonna be like her mommy when it comes to waking up. It's a  big, dramatic deal each time and she stretches and yawns and grimaces for a good 5 minutes before she's fully awake. I also know she's impatient (which she might have also gotten from her mother). She doesn't whine or cry much, but man, when she wants something, she wants it NOW! But overall, she's a very sweet little girl. Her little smile has popped up a few times and she has a dimple in her left cheek, which I LOVE! I've always wanted a dimple, but never been blessed with any (not in the right set of cheeks anyways--a little mom humor--haha ;).

Tommy has been doing okay with everything, but has definitely had his fair share of meltdowns. The first week was awesome. The 2nd week.........eh, not so much. He does pretty well during the day time, but in the evening, it's like he just goes into drama mode over EVERYTHING. Getting told no, getting told to do something, getting told.......anything, really! But I've been hoping and praying that would stop soon. It makes the evenings really hard because nobody wants to spend every spare moment they have as a family arguing with their toddler. It makes me sad and tired. But I also remind myself that he's had a lot of changes and our schedule has been crazy the last 2 weeks, so I try to give him a little grace.

Our families have been SO awesome with everything, though. They've really made the transition from 1 child to 2 SO much easier. Between all the baby-sitting, visits and meals that people have brought over, we haven't had to do a whole lot of work and it is so, So, SO appreciated!! I never realized how helpful it is to have someone bring a hot meal. I would so much rather have that than a present or anything else. It's great to have something home cooked without having to put in the time and effort to do it yourself. I think with 2nd children, instead of showers, they should have everyone sign up to bring a meal for the first week or two. How great, huh?!? Just think about it the next time you're wondering what you could do for someone who's had a child or a surgery or something along those lines.

Okay, I'm going to try to stop procrastinating now and write my toast for my sister's wedding reception. Wish me luck! I can't believe she's getting married in TWO DAYS!!

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

OVER IT!!

**Disclaimer: If you don't want to hear some kind of gross things about me, quit reading now.

The last fews day, I've started to think, "Is this really happening?" about every 5 minutes. Things were getting better---and then they stopped getting better. Sunday night, we were determined to get Tommy to sleep by 9:30pm and ourselves in bed by 10pm. Nick had to get up and go to work Monday at 4am. We were doing good!! It was 9:30pm and I put Tommy in our bed to lay down with him but had to use the restroom real quick. I'd been keeping a cloth diaper over my c-section scar since I had a skin infection and because the glue they'd put over my stitches had started sticking to EVERYTHING. So anyways, I pulled my shorts down and took the cloth off and fluid just started pooling on the floor. Like, literally gushing out of my incision. I panicked for a minute and started crying until I heard Tommy start crying. I looked up and realized he had seen the whole thing happen and managed to get myself together long enough to holler for Nick and to ask God, "Is this really happening??"  He came running in and talked me through deep breathing until I was over my miniature panick attack :) Dramatic? Yes. Annoying? YES!

I REALLY thought I was done with all this stuff. I thought I was on the downhill side of things where it was going to get easier and I was going to get to ENJOY my newborn and my husband and son. Nope. Wrong again. I paged my OB and soaked through about 6 cloth diapers. There was blood and fluid on everything! It was gross and scary and frustrating. I laid on the bed and tried not to move while Nick was trying to see if one of my stitches had popped (it had). My OB's nurse called me back and said I needed to be seen first thing in the morning. Which was great, but we had no idea what to do in the mean time. My incision leakage certainly wasn't lightening up. So Nick finally had the brilliant idea to put one of Tommy's diapers over it and then I stuffed a few dish towels down my pants and called it good. We layered trash bags, old towels and a few old sheets under me and I laid down for the night. I had also called my mom (who is the most awesome mom in the world, by the way) and asked if she could come for the night so I would have some help in the morning when the kids got up and Nick was already at work. She rushed over and got settled downstairs to sleep.

Now, Tessa had been sleeping REALLY well. Like 4 1/2 to 6 hour stretches at a time. So I was banking on the fact that I would still get a decent's night sleep, even though we ended up going to bed closer to 11pm then 10pm like we had tried for. But Sunday night...........of ALL nights.........not just Tessa, but Tommy as well, woke up multiple times. I have no idea why Tommy was waking up, but after the 3rd time of getting him back to sleep in his own bed, we finally gave up and put him in our bed. JUUUUUUUST as he was falling to sleep (at 3:00am), Tessa woke up. Which woke Tommy back up. We got her fed and back asleep, but Tommy kept tossing and turning (and somehow managing to kick my incision every time he moved) until I finally asked my mom to come sleep with me so Nick could go on the couch for the last hour he had until he had to get up for work. Tommy didn't fall asleep until 5:30am. I asked my mom, "Is this night really happening?"

I got about 4 hours of sleep for the night and then had to get up and get ready to go to the doctor. My sister came and got me and the kids (she's the best sister in the world, by the way) and luckily, we got right in to see Dr. Hague. She numbed me up (which hurt SO freaking bad) and cut my stitches open a little more. Then they shoved this little ribbon cloth in there and left some if it hanging out of the wound so it would drain. It was a not too pleasant experience that I definately could've lived without. They said it wasn't infected right then, but it looked like it could go that way fast, so they were setting up an appointment at a wound care clinic and I'm going back tomorrow to see if it's infected or not. If not, we'll cancel the other appointment, but if so, I have to go in and have something done that's supposed to make it heal pretty quickly. IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING????

Doesn't God realize I have to be in my sister's wedding in FOUR DAYS?!?!? And next week, I won't have any baby-sitter and I need to be on the top of my game physically to be able to chase a toddler and meet the demands of a newborn?!? I'm trying really hard to see His plan in all of it, but I have to say, I've never been this frustrated in my life. It's like the only thing holding me back right now is my body and no matter how hard I try to fix it, it's not working. SUPER ANNOYING. So if you think of it in your prayer time, PLEASE pray my incision heals quickly and isn't infected. I'm over it and ready to start feeling normal and making a new normal with my TWO babies.

And I promise my next post will not be full of whining :)

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Is he real?

The age old question.......is he real? Does Mr. Perfect exist? Us women are always talking about Mr. Perfect and Mr. Right and I think I finally have the answer to the question as to whether or not there even IS such a thing.

The last few days have been a little bit of hell on earth. My c-section incision got infected. Since Wednesday, I've been feeling not so awesome. I've had the chills and the sweats intermittently. Headaches with nausea and dizziness have been coming and going and my incision feels like it's on fire 100% of the day. We were scheduled to take Tessa in for a weight check on Thursday at 3:30pm. But when I called my OB about all of my symptoms, they told me to come in at 3:30pm. Lovely. Did I take my daughter for her weight check or feel like a crappy mom and put her appointment on hold to get my incision checked out?? We ended up rescheduling her appointment to Monday and going to my OB. Cue the bad mom feelings. That's where my guilt started.

After being diagnosed with the infection, we got home and things were going okay. And then I started having another problem. One common to post partum, but a little too personal to go into detail about :) Let's just say it put me out of the game until......today. I basically laid on the couch, feeling like an old, helpless woman while my husband ran the household like a champ. I turned into an emotional mess and cried about every 30 minutes because I felt worthless and sorry for my husband who was having to take care of THREE people at once. I was also in so much pain, I may have been slightly delirious ,but I felt guilty that I wasn't able to play with Tommy or hold Tessa and that I was putting myself before them. I had no other choice--no matter how much I WANTED to get up and do those things, my body wouldn't let me. But it still felt crappy to put  my children and my husband after myself. There was truly no place for things to go but up.

And they finally seem to have gotten better. My incision isn't hurting quite so bad. The personal problem resolved itself last night (thank you JESUS!!). I'm feeling much better overall. But all that backstory is to give you the answer to the question every woman asks....

Sorry to tell you girls, but Mr. Perfect does not exist. There is no man on earth that does everything right, every day of every week.

But luckily, I have found Mr. Perfect-for-me. If I had gotten NOTHING else out of this last two weeks, it would have all been worth it to discover what I've discovered about my husband. I've always known what a good man he is, but it's never been proved quite as much as in the last few day. Before Tessa came, I was getting super irritable and grumpy, usually with Nick. He put up with it because I had a fairly legitimate reason.....I was growing a person! But that was nothing compared to what he's does for me the last few weeks. He has been my go-to man. He has made sure that I have everything I could possibly need to be comfortable. He's taken SUCH good care of Tommy and Tessa while I wasn't able to. He has cooked and cleaned every single day. When I cried every 30 minutes, he was there every 30 minutes, holding my hand and telling me not to worry about things and that he had it under control. He ran to the store twice in one day to get me the things I needed to get better. He put himself at the bottom of the totem pole and made sure that his family was taken care of, first and foremost. He's lost several hours of sleep due to me and our daugher. He's not really done a lot of relaxing on his week and a half off. But the thing that sticks out the most is he hasn't complained. Not one single, solitary negative word has come out of his mouth. I can't honestly say if I would be able to do the same.

I wish so bad there was something I could say or do that would get across to him how much he means to me and how grateful I am that I found Mr. Perfect-for-me and that it's him. I can only hope he knows how much I appreciate him and love him.

So girls, remember, there's NOBODY in the world that's going to be perfect. But there is someone that's perfect for you. They might do things that drive you nuts sometimes or say things that make you cringe or a million other things that boys do.......but if they're willing to bend over backwards to take care of you or to make you happy, hold on to them. It's hard to find and even harder to keep, but God has blessed me so much.

Nick, you are everything I could've asked for and more. I love you so much and am SO glad you're my husband and the father of our children.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

All the time

God is good. All the time. Tessa's x-rays came back NORMAL!! Thank you Lord. Maybe now this paranoid mama can relax.........yeah right. I'm a worrier by nature, although I shouldn't be because God has proved himself time and again. I have to say, I didn't worry quite so much until I had babies!! My kids sure do keep me on my toes. I also had been concerned because there was blood in her diaper the last few days and we mentioned it at the doctor on Monday. He wasn't too concerned but said if it continued, we would need to check it out. Well, it continued (3 days  now) and so I called his office to let them know and the nurse said it can be really common for girls to have some bloody discharge for up to 2 weeks due to hormones from mom during pregnancy. That made me feel better, but we called a friend of ours who had a baby girl a little while ago and asked if they'd had that problem and they said yes. THAT made me feel total relief. They also said it's completely normal and their daughter's stopped in a week or so. I was so glad to hear that because it made me cry every time I saw it in her diaper. I just hate to think of her hurting or having problems. But of course, all is well!!

We haven't been doing a whole lot........just getting in a lot of quality family time and I LOVE it.
We took a few pictures yesterday and I love, Love, LOVE how they turned out!! I'm SO glad I have a little girl to complete our family!













There will be more to come. I love taking pictures of my sweet babies!