Tuesday, September 28, 2010

And so it begins.....

Well, I guess this is the beginning of me questioning if I'm going to be a good mom or not!! I had a feeling this time would come, but hadn't really worried about it yet, which was starting to worry me if that makes sense :) I was like, okay, am I BAD mom for not WORRYING about if I'm gonna be a bad mom?? Oh, the thoughts of an emotional pregnant chick! Anyways, I had a nightmare--okay, more like a worrisome dream--that I had already had Tommy. I couldn't see his face (darn it!!) but I could hear him crying, so I went upstairs to make a bottle. Well I couldn't figure out how much formula to mix with how much water. The baby kept crying and the can didn't have instructions on it and I was in a total panic and kept thinking I was a bad mom because I was going to give my baby watered down formula and then he wouldn't grow.....it was just a crazy dream!! I woke up and was thinking, oh brother, here we go. It all started because I watched my baby cousin on Saturday and she wouldn't eat and was just crying hysterically for like 15 minutes and I tried EVERYTHING before I texted her mom who told me to just feed her through her crying because she was probably hungry. And it worked! She was a good little baby after that and I started thinking how much I have to learn before Tommy is born and how much I have to DO before he's born. I need to get the nursery finished, clean out a few closets and I feel like I need to sterilize my house top to bottom and baby proof everything. I try to remind myself I'll have a few months AFTER he's born to do some stuff too since he'll pretty much just eat, sleep and poop the first 2 months, but it just gets so overwhelming!! How come you have to go to school for years for something to learn a bunch of stuff you don't need to know but when it comes to being a parent, they just throw you out there and tell you to sink or swim?!?! Okay, I'm taking a deep breath now :) Just needed to get all that out there. I know everything will be okay and we'll learn as we go. I just have to remind myself that God will get us through it and even make it fun!!!! Onto a more positive note, I LOVE FALL!! This cool weather is making my day!! I can't wait until all the trees start turning colors and it stays cool and crisp all day, every day!! I want to wear sweaters and cardigans and jeans and boots and scarves......you get the picture :)

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