Saturday, July 25, 2015

To my Sunshine on her 3rd birthday

I'm still not sure how it's possible. And yes, I know I say that every year (and probably will until I'm dead and gone). But my baby is three today.

I always wonder if a woman ever stops feeling like the birth of her children was just days ago. I can still feel the excitement of going into labor, smell the hospital smell, remember how the room looked. I can hear the monitors going crazy when your heartbeat was almost non-existent, see the surgeon running beside me in the hallway, feel the crush of my heart when you didn't come out crying. I see the look on your daddy's face when he was finally allowed in the room. I can still see your little purple body out of the corner of my eye, notice the way nobody would look me in the eyes. I can feel the doctor's hands on my face, hear his voice telling me they're working on you and that they'd do everything they could. I can still feel the presence of God and the peace he gave me in those terrifying moments. I remember the 5 hour wait we had until we could see your sweet face, the pictures Daddy sent me when he got so fed up with waiting that he finally went to the NICU. And then finally.......the weight of you in my arms. Your little tiny burrito body--8.3 pounds of perfection--wrapped up in the white hospital blanket, resting in your mama's arms.

That was the beginning of one of the best love stories of my life.

Tessa, you are everything I could want in a daughter. Everything. I cannot WAIT to watch you grow up and see the young lady you'll become. You are sunshine and rain wrapped in the most beautiful package of curls, gray eyes and tan skin. My heart literally aches with love for you. I am so blessed everyday that God brought you into my life and although I would have been more than willing to skip your dramatic entrance into the world, I know now that that's just how you do things. You wouldn't have had it any other way.

Happy 3rd birthday, sweet baby.

I love you more.

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