We got news that we were officially licensed to do foster care on January 2nd, 2019. About 30 seconds after our social worker notified us that our license had come through, she sent another text asking if we wanted a 4 year old girl.
And just like that, we had entered the world of foster parenting.
I texted Nick to see what he thought, but knew in my heart that we were going to hold out for a younger kiddo. We licensed for up to age 18, but had decided to do 3 and younger. When we had originally filled out our paperwork in our MAPP class a few years ago, they asked us what we pictured when we thought about our first foster child. I specifically remember talking to Nick about it and letting him know that when I closed my eyes, I saw a 2 year old brown boy joining our family.
He seemed skeptical and said, "Really??" I had shared multiple times how much I wanted a newborn or tiny baby, so I think it threw him off when I told him what I saw in my mind. It was weird because I didn't WANT a 2 year old boy. I WANTED a sweet little 8 lb baby girl that I could snuggle and comfort and dress up. But when they asked that question on our paperwork and I stopped and meditated on what I pictured for our first foster child......that's what God brought to mind. So on our paperwork, that's what I wrote down.
A 2 year old brown boy.
Nick and I decided together not to take the 4 year old girl. My heart broke for her and although I knew she wasn't right for our family, I prayed they would find the perfect family for her. This foster parenting thing was already harder than I thought.
How do you just say no? How do you tell someone, "Sorry--I'm not interested in that kid. I'll hold out for something ‘better.’ "
My only thought and comfort was that God has somebody picked out for each kid and even though it might make me feel guilty, we have to do what we felt called to do. It's not saying 'no' to one kid....it's saying 'yes' to another.
A few hours later, I was working and heard the infamous 'ping' on my phone. It was my social worker.
She asked if wanted a 1 year old.
My heart started pounding.....my hands got sweaty.....my mind was racing.
"Can I call you in 5 minutes?" I asked.
I was getting ready to leave work for the day and after I got that text, I wanted nothing more than to shoot out the door and get on the phone with my worker. I called her as soon as I got in the car to get more information.
"Boy or girl?" I asked.
"Boy."
"And he's one?" I said.
"He's almost two."
She told me his name and that he'd been in two or three other placements since the end of November. It took all I had not to start sobbing right then. A tiny human had been moved THREE times in the matter of one month. The tragedy of that wasn't lost on me.
"Let me call my husband and I'll let you know right away."
I called Nick and while we were both nervous and hesitant, we decided to say yes. Might as well jump in head first, right?
I called my worker back and let her know we were in. We got the arrangements figured out and eventually I heard from his social worker. She let us know she would be at our house with him around 11:30pm.
We got our kids to bed (they were DEVASTATED to miss his arrival). We laid down on the couch to try to catch a quick nap knowing that this kiddo was probably going to be wide awake and either ready to explore his surroundings or scared to death to be in another new home.
My phone rang at 11:15pm and his worker let me know they were pulling in the driveway.
We opened the door and she was standing there holding a lumpy bundle in a blue fuzzy blanket. She turned sideways so he could see us and our eyes locked onto the curly haired little 2 year old brown boy God had brought to our doorstep.
And just like that, we had entered the world of foster parenting.
I texted Nick to see what he thought, but knew in my heart that we were going to hold out for a younger kiddo. We licensed for up to age 18, but had decided to do 3 and younger. When we had originally filled out our paperwork in our MAPP class a few years ago, they asked us what we pictured when we thought about our first foster child. I specifically remember talking to Nick about it and letting him know that when I closed my eyes, I saw a 2 year old brown boy joining our family.
He seemed skeptical and said, "Really??" I had shared multiple times how much I wanted a newborn or tiny baby, so I think it threw him off when I told him what I saw in my mind. It was weird because I didn't WANT a 2 year old boy. I WANTED a sweet little 8 lb baby girl that I could snuggle and comfort and dress up. But when they asked that question on our paperwork and I stopped and meditated on what I pictured for our first foster child......that's what God brought to mind. So on our paperwork, that's what I wrote down.
A 2 year old brown boy.
Nick and I decided together not to take the 4 year old girl. My heart broke for her and although I knew she wasn't right for our family, I prayed they would find the perfect family for her. This foster parenting thing was already harder than I thought.
How do you just say no? How do you tell someone, "Sorry--I'm not interested in that kid. I'll hold out for something ‘better.’ "
My only thought and comfort was that God has somebody picked out for each kid and even though it might make me feel guilty, we have to do what we felt called to do. It's not saying 'no' to one kid....it's saying 'yes' to another.
A few hours later, I was working and heard the infamous 'ping' on my phone. It was my social worker.
She asked if wanted a 1 year old.
My heart started pounding.....my hands got sweaty.....my mind was racing.
"Can I call you in 5 minutes?" I asked.
I was getting ready to leave work for the day and after I got that text, I wanted nothing more than to shoot out the door and get on the phone with my worker. I called her as soon as I got in the car to get more information.
"Boy or girl?" I asked.
"Boy."
"And he's one?" I said.
"He's almost two."
She told me his name and that he'd been in two or three other placements since the end of November. It took all I had not to start sobbing right then. A tiny human had been moved THREE times in the matter of one month. The tragedy of that wasn't lost on me.
"Let me call my husband and I'll let you know right away."
I called Nick and while we were both nervous and hesitant, we decided to say yes. Might as well jump in head first, right?
I called my worker back and let her know we were in. We got the arrangements figured out and eventually I heard from his social worker. She let us know she would be at our house with him around 11:30pm.
We got our kids to bed (they were DEVASTATED to miss his arrival). We laid down on the couch to try to catch a quick nap knowing that this kiddo was probably going to be wide awake and either ready to explore his surroundings or scared to death to be in another new home.
My phone rang at 11:15pm and his worker let me know they were pulling in the driveway.
We opened the door and she was standing there holding a lumpy bundle in a blue fuzzy blanket. She turned sideways so he could see us and our eyes locked onto the curly haired little 2 year old brown boy God had brought to our doorstep.
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