Friday, July 2, 2010

Worst. Night. EVER!!!

Okay, so let me tell you about the night I had last night. It's probably not going to sound NEAR as dramatic and awful as it felt, but I still feel the need to vent about how annoyed I am today.

So I had a really hard time falling asleep last night. I couldn't get comfortable and I was just really restless. So I FINALLY fell asleep around 11pm (not horrible, but I went to bed at 9:30pm, so it felt like it took FOREVER to get to sleep). Then, at 1:00am, I woke up because I heard some loud noises. Well, it took me a few seconds to realize that the loud noises I heard was every electrical appliance in our household shutting off! Our electricity went out. Lovely. So I wake my husband up to save me from all the monsters I'm sure are getting ready to come out of my closet since my house is now pitch black. Yes, I'm still afraid of the dark. How am I going to convince my children NOT to be afraid of the dark??? Tell them to talk to their father :) So anyways, we get our flashlights and our guns (yes, we're rednecks) and went outside to check the breaker box. Well we saw that none of our other neighbors had electricity either, so we went back inside and went to bed.

Why did we not call the outage in to the electric company? I don't know. Good question.

So I'm laying in bed, sweating......miserably hot (no air conditioning and no fans), tossing and turning and cussing out the electrical wires in my head. I do this for about 1 1/2 hours before I FINALLY fall asleep. And then an hour later, Nick's alarm went off!! I was SO excited (note the sarcasm in this). So he saw that the electricity was still off and decided to call it in to the electric company who told us that it had JUST been called in at 3:45am. We were then kicking ourselves for not calling it in at 1:00am when we first noticed it. But oh well. Can't undo what's already been done. So he tells me he's going to the gas station to get ice and my response was to roll over and try to go back to sleep. Which I succeeded in doing until he called me 45 minutes later to tell me he'd changed his mind about getting ice and was just gonna go to work. My thought was, "I'm ASLEEP!!! I don't give a s*** if you're getting ice right now unless you plan to come home and pour it all over my body so I'm not dehydrated from sweating all night!!!" By this time, I'm pretty sure I've lost 20 pounds of body fluid and I had to pee so bad my stomach hurt, but I was too afraid to go to the bathroom by myself. So I finally talked myself into getting up and going, using the light from my 1912 flashlight that has a beam about 1/2 an inch wide.

After I used the bathroom, I was washing my hands and for some reason started thinking about that Bloody Mary myth where if you say her name 3 times while you're in a dark room looking at the mirror, she'll appear in the mirror. Anyone remember this? Well I hadn't though of it since like, 3rd grade, but apparently being in a completely dark house in the middle of the country can bring up fun memories like that. So I RAN to the bedroom and locked the door and hid under the sheet since it would protect me from anything and everything that could happen. I tossed and turned and sweated again for another hour and then got to sleep.

About 30 minutes later, I woke up due to more loud noises, but it was a good thing!! Our electricity came back on. I almost cried, I was so happy! So I went back to sleep until my alarm went off and I got out of bed. My right leg had a really itchy spot, so I looked down and saw the icing on the cake. Another wonderful thing had happened during the night. Apparently, at some point, a spider bit me and then I rolled over and crushed it, so it's body was stuck to my leg and all of it's legs were stuck to my bed!! Now isn't that a treat?!? Gag me. I'm so glad I go on vacation next week. I'm about to go INSANNNNNEEEE!!!!!!! I need sleep, I need an antibiotic ointment and I need a pool. And a virgin margarita.

No comments: