Wednesday, August 3, 2011

To the fellow moms.......

As a mother, I have decided to write down the rules I believe it's ok to follow even though others may say it's not. So mom's, listen up!! I'm giving you permission to do the following, regardless of anyone else's thoughts about it.

It is OKAY to let your kid sleep in your room for as long as you feel comfortable doing so. Even if someone looks at you and says, "oh.....really?? He still sleeps in your room?!? Well MY baby was sleeping in his nursery by 2 weeks old." Guess what. People lived in 1 room houses where everyone slept in the same 5 foot area for HUNDREDS of years and they survived!! Imagine that!

It is ok to let a baby cry for awhile. It will not kill them, it will not hurt them, it won't even scar them. They will be all that much stronger and independent.

But on the other hand, it's also okay to pick them up when they're been crying so long it's physically killing you NOT to hold your baby. They won't be spoiled, they won't be brats---they'll know they're loved by a momma who wants them to be tough but doesn't want them to sad.

It is ok for your baby to sleep in your bed for one night! When my baby boy is sick and whiny and miserable, I'm not going to let him lay in his crib if he feels safe and secure and FINALLY goes to sleep right beside me and daddy in bed. And if you don't agree, don't worry about it! It's not your kid, so you won't have to deal with it if he becomes a cling-on later in life.

It is okay to give your kid their pacifier after it falls on the floor. Ever heard the term "a little dirt never hurt?" Well it's true. Besides, just imagine all the things toddler's have put in their mouths and lived through it. Gross :)

It's okay if your house is still a mess even though you just picked up earlier that day. You have a kid. It will NEVER be spotless unless you're constantly cleaning--and then you won't have time to enjoy your baby! Relax. If company doesn't like how your house looks, then they don't have to be there (it took me awhile to be okay with this, but I am SO there now!).

Your bouncy chair does not have to match your baby's playpen. And the playpen doesn't have to match the crib bedding. And the bedding doesn't have to match the curtains. Are you catching the drift? Sure, a cute nursery is great, but don't sweat it if don't have time to do it. I spent HOURS getting my nursery ready and I can honestly say Tommy has spent a total of about 2 hours in there since he was born 6 months ago.

It's okay if sometimes you just want to walk out the back door and scream or lock yourself in the bathroom and rock back and forth in the bathtub. It doesn't mean you're a bad mom and it doesn't mean you don't love your kids. It just means you're still adjusting to having a human being with you EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY!!!!! I used to feel so guilty for feeling this way, but God understands and if that's what you need to do, do it. Then take a deep breath, put a smile on your face and go back to being Super Mom!!

It's okay if your baby looks like a naked white-trash baby for a few hours. Before I had Tommy, I dreamed of spotless outfits, perfectly combed hair and a clean face at all times. Notice I said DREAMED. It never happened. He spit up on countless outfits, scratches his head like he's a 90 year old man pondering life's meaning (this is the funniest thing EVER, by the way)--which in turn messes up his hair, and has had a snotty nose for the last 4 days. No matter how hard I try, I usually lose. So I stopped trying so hard. Jesus loves my baby just the way he is, so I should too.

It's okay if you accidentally strap the carseat in wrong and the seatbelt locks up and you get a few blocks down the road and hear your baby squealing in joy, so you look in the back seat to see that the whole carseat tipped on it's side. Yes, I did that. Go ahead and judge. But be sure to laugh at yourself when YOU do it :) Because mom's can have moments like that. It just happens.

It's okay if you don't know how to open the new stroller and you spend 20 minutes in the parking lot trying to figure out which lever opens the damn thing. That's right, I said damn. That stroller makes me so MAD sometimes!! One time, I had such a hard time closing it that I just shoved it in my Jeep while it was still open. I bet I looked like I was a bat out of hell. It was 100 degrees outside, my hair was sweaty and curling up and I was panting when I got finished. If you see that happening to someone else, offer to help. I guarantee they'll accept your offer.

It is okay to cry when your kid does something for the first time--laugh, crawl, walk, goes to school, graduates, dates, gets married, has their own kid. Don't let anyone tell you that you have to be tough. There is a certain pride that comes with parenting and it is OKAY to enjoy the results of all your hard work and to have a good cry here and there because you're so dang proud of your baby.

And last but not least, it is SO okay to do things your way. As a parent, you will constantly be learning as you go--learning what works best for YOU and YOUR baby no matter how so-and-so did things. Because people will constantly be telling you what you should be doing. Ignore it (unless you asked for the advice). Do what works for you. You WILL survive. You WILL find the time, strength, energy and MONEY to raise your babies to be good adults.

Being a mom is hard but give yourself permission to not be perfect!!!!

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