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Tuesday, March 12, 2019

It was all worth it

65 days.

That's all the longer he was meant to be "ours."

65 days of laughing, crying, learning, hugging, stretching, growing, praying.

Our house is a little quieter, our hearts are a little sadder and our arms feel a little emptier.

We were not shocked he got sent home (as reintegration was the goal from the beginning), but we are heartbroken at the abrupt way it happened.

I have heard time and again that the "system is broken." I'm here to tell you, friends, it is broken indeed.

He was failed time and again by his case team (we thank God that OUR case team was so supportive or we would have been lost in all of this).

He became "just another case" on their list.

We were unable to advocate for him in the way that was needed because of lack of communication from his team.

We were given 16 hours to prepare for him leaving. They decided all of this at a court hearing that we knew nothing about by a judge who I don't think was given even a fraction of the information that should have been required to make that decision.

Tessa and I were out of town when I got the phone call to "please go ahead and pack up all of his stuff to send home tomorrow." We didn't even get to tell him goodbye. 

While in some ways 65 days felt like an eternity, at the same time......it just wasn't enough. Enough time to reassure him he's loved unconditionally, enough time to teach him that God is always with him, enough time to show him a different life, enough time to give him the resources to grow up to be a good person.

But......it WAS enough time for us to fall in love with him, to show him that throwing fits doesn't get him what he wants, to teach him where his nose and eyes are, to introduce him to Puppy Dog Pals and Paw Patrol, to learn that he LOVES dinosaurs and trucks, to show him how to swing, to learn the difference in his fake mean face and his real mean face, to pray for him and his family every night at bedtime, to let him be a little kid without fear of anything.

Foster care is still so new to us. There is still SO much to learn and so much to experience and so many kids to help. Even after going through all of this with our first placement, we know that not every case will be this way and we rest assured that God will bring the right kids to us at the right time. It was all worth it.

Please join us in praying that even though the system failed him, that his family will not. That he is safe, protected and loved. That him and his mom and siblings will be restored in every way possible.

And if you've ever even THOUGHT about fostering, PLEASE take the next step. Whether that's praying about it more, calling an agency to see where to start, taking the class....or even messaging me with questions and fears! Just step out in faith, knowing that God will meet you where you are.


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