5 months old

So, I SWEAR I just wrote Tommy's 4 month post a few days ago.........but apparently it's been another month already! He is now FIVE MONTHS OLD!!!!! Oh my. I am turning into one of "those" people who always drove me nuts when I was younger and they would say, "Time flies, sweetheart. Just you wait--you'll be old before you know it." As annoying as that was, they were right. I am old. And my son is getting older by the second.

So Tommy, at five months, you are..........

*19 lbs and 3 ounces

*26 1/4 inches long

*still wearing size 2 diapers

*are SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT EVERY NIGHT!!! WOO-HOO!!! You sleep from about 9pm to 7am. You might wake up a few times and fuss for a second, but you go right back to sleep!

*have tried rice cereal, oatmeal and sweet potatoes. You totally dig sweet potatoes. Feeding you has become increasingly difficult. You feel the need to do it yourself (I can already hear your little toddler voice saying "I do it!! I do it!!") and you grab the spoon while we're trying to feed you. This, in turn, causes you to shove the spoon down your throat which immediately results in you gagging. It's a lovely process.

*holding your own bottle! Mom and dad are loving this because now you can eat and we can actually do something else at the same time. This has greatly increased my productivity at night (although I would MUCH rather have my hands busy holding you than folding the tons of laundry our small family somehow creates--note to self---invent disposable clothing)

*are getting in your FIRST TWO TEETH!! This is both exciting and mentally/physically/emotionally draining. You have done preeeetty well with this whole tooth thing, but for a few days there you were ANGRY!!

Not that I blame you because growing teeth is painful, but it made me sad that you cried all the time and if I'm completely honest (don't judge me here), all the crying also drove me a little insane. We gave you ibuprofen around the clock for 2-3 days and that helped a lot. You did a lot of chewing on your favorite toy (Mr. Monkey as mom has so cleverly named him) and laying in bed getting cuddles. Now that they're sticking farther up, you're doing MUCH better. You have the cutest little pearly whites!!



*sitting up by yourself now! It's the neatest thing. You haven't quite gotten to the point where you can pull yourself up to a sitting position, but if we sit you up, you stay there!!

*are still head over heels for your daddy. A lot of times in the evening, you guys just lay on the couch and watch TV. Its very cute and endearing :)

Tommy, in the past few weeks, I have been looking at pictures of you as a newborn and am realizing that my time with you on this earth is short compared to eternity. I am trying so very hard to cherish the moments we spend together, even when it's you laughing as I wipe poop off your back or me feeding you the same bite of oatmeal for the 4th time because you insist on blowing spit bubbles as soon as I put food in your mouth. I went to bed last night with dried and crusty sweet potatoes in my hair, a formula stain on my shirt and a whole lot of exhaustion in my heart. And I feel bad that I forget sometimes just how truly blessed I am to have you. As I type this, it's making me teary because I know that "before I know it" you'll be taking your first steps, going to your first day of schol, then be angry at me for taking your phone away, you'll be packing up for college, you'll be proposing to your girlfriend, having kids of your own and FINALLY understanding what your mother goes through for you! Please forgive me son, when I'm not the mother I should be--when I'm too tired to play peek-a-boo one more time or too busy to make silly faces at you so you stop crying, when I roll my eyes because you have yet again peed through your diaper, when I sigh in frustration because you dropped your paci on the ground for the millionth time that second. Remember, we're growing together!! I love you sweet boy.

The view from here........

..........is breathtaking.

Empty Words

Think before you speak. How many times have your parents or teachers or SOMEBODY said those words to you? I, personally, have always had an uncontrollable small problem with this. But this week.......this week, I have been reminded of the importance of that sentence.

On Sunday, the youth group was going to do a homeless outreach, but I woke up that morning and realized I had forgotten to go to Sams to get the food we usually hand out. And besides that fact, it was like 100 degrees already and I couldn't imagine tromping around downtown Wichita in that heat (not that the weather should stop me from doing the work of God). So I decided instead to do a lesson and postpone handing out food and drinks to the homeless until next week. I wasn't sure what I was going to teach on, but last week, God had been laying a verse on my heart that I had memorized at one point in my life. The verse says this:

Ephesians 4:29-"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs that it may benefit those who listen."

I decided to teach on that and found a few other verses that went along with it. During my lesson, I said something that I hadn't planned to say and hadn't really thought about until it popped out of my mouth.

How many of the hundreds of words you speak every day are empty?

A friend of mine from high school recently committed suicide. We hadn't talked in years other than an occasional "hello" on facebook. But as I spoke that sentence, my mind started thinking, "What is the last thing I said to Clifton?" I couldn't remember. And at that point, it didn't matter that we weren't best friends or that I hadn't actually SEEN him since we graduated high school. A person that I grew up with felt that his life was so miserable, he had to end it.

How many of the words that people spoke to him were empty?

How many of the words HE said to others were just going through the motions and had no meaning? It breaks my heart to think of how alone and sad and desperate for peace he must have felt in his last moments. And this made me go back to Ephesians 4:29--was I speaking words that were building people up? Was I meeting their needs with my words? I have said this before in my blog, but I'm not an extremely empathetic person. I have a hard time being sympathetic with people if I feel that the situation is in any way something they could change or something that they caused for themselves. I am trying to work on this and so far.......have not done very good :) But the devastation that came with this week and the death of a young and vibrant person really hit home. You never know how your words can affect somebody. I can only pray to God that my lack of empathy towards people has never made anyone feel the way he felt and that the people I love KNOW they can come to me for anything.

At Clifton's funeral, the pastor said that there were no words he could say to comfort the family--nothing we say is going to make things better. But I hope they found small comfort from the words of love that everybody spoke about him. Why.......WHY can't we always have wholesome talk coming out of our mouths? WHY do we let Satan dictate what we're saying sometimes? The Bible says numerous times that the tongue is a sword and what a horrible weapon it is.

 Clifton, I wish so badly I could remember what our last REAL conversation was. Did I say nice things to you? I hope so. Did I let you know how much I appreciated your friendship and your presence at church and youth group? I hope so. I challenge everyone to remember Ephesians 4:29. Are the words you're speaking serving a purpose? Are they meeting someone's needs? Are your words empty?

The big 4!!!

Well son, you have hit the 4 month old mark! You are officially one third of a year old. Wow.......where does the time go?!? You are growing like a weed and mom can't believe all the things you're doing!

At 4 months old, you are:

*weighing in at 17 lbs 11 oz. Holy smokes son!!! Dad is convinced this will make you the number 1 pick for the football line up :) He has dreams and visions of you blocking and tackling and making it to the NFL. Mom has visions of you getting concussions and breaking bones.

*27 inches long. Gonna be tall like daddy!

*wearing a size 2 diaper. Man, we go through those things like crazy. I never believed people when they said to stock up on diapers, but with the next one, we'll start buying as soon as we find out we're pregnant!

*laughing like crazy! It used to take a lot of work to get a giggle out of you, but now you laugh when we tickle you or talk funny. It's really funny because you laugh, but your face doesn't smile! It's crazy, but very cute :)

*have slept through the WHOLE night twice. Mom started laying you down by yourself when you get sleepy instead of holding you until you fall asleep and you've done GREAT with that!! Then I tried just giving you your binky instead of feeding you when you wake up during the night because I was starting to think you were eating out of habit rather than hunger and it worked!!! I put your binky in and you were right back to sleep!

*rolling over from back to tummy and starting to roll over tummy to back. It's silly how proud I get when you roll over. Geez, imagine when you actually do something HUGE!! I'll probably break into tears and call the newspaper to have them print a story about how wonderful my son! I'm not kidding........it's THAT dramatic.

*talking and talking and talking!! You just coo and scream and holler for 30 minutes at a time. You have the best conversations with mom and dad. It's so cute!

*have eaten your first taste of rice cereal. Mom thought it was going to be this cute, fun little video opportunity..........WRONG!! It's actually a very sloooooowwww and messy production. You have this obsession with your hands, so you stick your fingers in your mouth WHILE you're eating cereal and then proceed to rub your fingers on any surface you can get your hands on. Oh brother. You like it, but only if I can get it in your mouth fast enough. I think it makes you mad that you don't get the constant flow like you do with a bottle.

*keep gagging yourself!!! It's the weirdest and most frustrating thing EVER!! As mentioned about, you LOVE your hands. You always stick your 2 fingers from your left hand into your mouth and cram them so far down there that you gag. And then you cry because you're gagging, so you suck on your fingers to comfort yourself and..........are you seeing the cycle here?? We're working on it :)

*still drinking 4 oz bottles, but it seems that's not gonna be enough for very much longer. You drink 4 oz and seem fine, but then you get hungry sooner--so you're eating like every 2 1/2-3 hours instead of 4-5. Oh my.....I can't imagine our grocery bill when you're a teenager.

*make the funniest faces!!

*are obSESSED with your daddy. Like, stare him down until he looks at you obsessed. He'll come home from work and when you hear his voice, your little feet start kicking and you turn your head towards his voice. Then when he talks to you, you just squeal and giggle and smile. It's pretty cute, but is really making me hope the next one's a girl or mom's gonna be lonely :( I see a LOT of father/son time in the future.

*have been to your first graduation!! Your auntie Brooke (aka mom number 2) graduated. Your face in the picture below is pretty much the way you looked the whole time.

****Thomas James, you are the light of our lives.....corny, but true. Your little smile brightens my day and even when you frustrate me, I look at your tiny little face and see the work of God carved into every corner of you! I love you when you laugh, when you cry, when you smile, when you spit up, when you put your sweet little hands on the sides of my face, when you poop, when you rip my hair out with your chubby fists and even when you pee in fresh bathwater. You are growing so fast and I want so badly for time to stand still, but I also want to know what kind of person you're going to be and what you'll look like as you grow. Stay sweet my baby boy. We love you!

My 1st Mother's Day

Well, for a 1st Mother's day, I would say Sunday took the cake. It was such a great day!! Saturday night, Nana asked if Tommy could stay the night with her for HER mother's day gift. I said yes and was kind of happy and kind of sad about it. Happy that I would get to sleep through the night, but a little sad that I wouldn't get to see my little guy as soon as I woke up. But Nana REEEEEAAAALLLLY wanted him to come over, so I let him go. And I DID enjoy my Saturday evening. I got to do some long overdue crafting I've been dying to try but is next to impossible to get done when I'm constantly being interrupted to feed him, burp him, change his diaper, find his binky, make his music bug sing, etc.

You mom's know how it is!!

I finally figured out all the felt flower tutorials I had been watching and made a few cute hair clips and headbands. Then I slept through the whole night although I did wake up once at about 4:00am out of habit. But rest assured, I QUICKLY went back to sleep! I got up early and got ready for church in record time. By this point, I was ready to hold my baby boy!! We went over to my mom's and picked her and Tommy up and headed to church. He was so good! He always is, but for some reason I always worry that he's going to be loud and noisy. And then I stop and think, even when I hear someone else's baby, it doesn't bother me or make me mad, so why do I worry about it so much?!? Who knows.

Anyways, after church, we went to lunch at Gambino's with my momma. Then we went out to the Raft ( a private pond where Nick's parents park their camper year round) and they made fajitas. We were outside most of the time and even though it's early May, it FELT like mid June. It was a scorcher!! Tommy did great until about 2 hours in and then he got hot and tired. We both welcomed an excuse to go into the air conditioned camper, so I fed him and then we caught a little cat nap. The best part of my day BESIDES spending it with my two favorite guys was getting my first Mother's day gift/birthday present ( I have a feeling I'm going to get a lot of those since my birthday is always close to Mother's day)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got a Sony Bloggie Touch!! It's a video camera that takes pictures too.

I just KNOW he LOOOOVES all of mommy's kisses!



I haven't quite figured out how to download the videos, but I love having a video camera. And you can take a picture WHILE you're taping. LOVE IT!! And now I'm going to share a few more pictures that explain WHY I love being a mother so much!

I mean, really. Are words really necessary after you see those squishy lips?!?

Hope you all had a great Mother's Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Because He lives!

I went to church on Sunday with kind of a bad attitude. I was tired, grumpy, stressed, wishing I wasn't "committed" to going to church so I could stay home with my family and do NOTHING all day. It seemed like it took FOREVER to get ready and get all of Tommy's stuff together and I get frustrated with myself because it seems like no matter how hard I try, I can't get anywhere on time. Nobody's fault but my own, I know. Anyways, I sped to Towanda and picked up my cousin Whitney and got to the church as fast as I could. Luckily, we got there on time and got to our seats before anything started. Tommy was wide awake and I was stressing out and hoping he would stay quiet and not throw any tantrums during the service. We sang a few songs and had greeting time and went through all the mandatory "Nice to see you" and "Good morning! How have you been?" stuff. The whole time I'm smiling away to the rest of the congregation, I'm faking it and thinking about how warm my bed was and how annoyed I was with life at the moment. I sat through the service and nodded my head at all the right parts and closed my eyes when we prayed, not really feeling anything that day because apparently, I had decided to give the day to Satan as soon as I opened my eyes (WHY DO I DO THAT?!?!). Towards the end of the service, Chris said something significant (can't remember now what it was unfortunately) that woke me up a little bit and started to make me feel a little convicted and repentent of my attitude. And then..........we sang THE song. It's a song we sing that when I was pregnant, made me cry every time. It really makes me stop and think about my life. It's an old hymn called Because He Lives. There's a verse in there that says:

How sweet to hold a newborn baby

And feel the pride and joy he gives

But greater still the calm assurance

This child can face uncertain days because He lives

 

Talk about a song that takes your breath away. I've always known and appreciated the fact that Jesus lived and died for MY sins and that is a concept that is amazing to me. But since having Tommy, the things and sacrifices that people do for me become SO much more significant when they're doing it for my child. Yes, Jesus died for my sins and for that, I will forever be grateful. But knowing He died for my baby's sins and because of His life, MY baby can face uncertain days.........THAT is something that makes me want to fall to my knees and praise Him. I have heard of a mother's instinct but until you are one, you can't truly grasp what that means. With everything inside of me, I want SO bad to give Tommy a life full of love and joy and happiness and everything he could ever want and to protect him from pain and sorrow and death and misery. I don't ever want to think about him going through difficult situations--But greater still the calm assurance MY child can face uncertain days because He lives. On K-Love today, someone said that their mother once told them that Jesus loved them more than she ever could. And I honestly thought in my head for a fleeting moment, "There's no way anybody could love Tommy more than I could--even Jesus." Seriously, Brady?!? Yeah, did I mention that thought was fleeting? :) God quickly convicted me and let me know I was wrong. And I KNEW that but that's just my first instinct is that as Tommy's mother, I  do the most, know the most, care the most and love him the most. How foolish of me. For as much as I love Tommy, God's love for him is multiplied by a million as is His love for me. Let's just say that song pulled me out of my funk and made me hold my baby a little bit closer. I am going to try to wake up each day and mentally give my day to God. God never promised that as Christians we would have easy lives. But He does promise that no matter what we go through, He will be right beside us.

A weekend of firsts!!!

So this weekend was a very BUSY weekend full of firsts in our family! It was SO exhausting but SO fun :) First of all, it was Nick's FIRST full weekend off in a looooooooong time. He almost always works on Saturdays, but not this weekend! Tommy stayed the night at my mom's on Friday night, so we got to sleep the whole night and even slept in a little bit the next morning. It was SO nice! My mom brought Tommy home around 9am and we all loaded up to go watch my CRAZY sister and her equally crazy boyfriend go skydiving for the first (and hopefully last) time!

Before the jump--nervous but excited!

Their shady plane that somehow fit FOUR people!

I gotta say, when I was younger, I had a zest for crazy, scary thing. But the older I get, the more I have to lose and the less I want to do things that could potentially kill me. Roller coasters make me nauseous (as do big hills we drive over) and just WATCHING her and Michael flying up to jump made my heart beat accelerate. How lame am I? It was so scary to watch them jump! They were so small it was almost impossible to see them.    

Brooke

Michael

I had to use my SUPER zoom lens to be able to even make out where they were. It was kind of cloudy anyways, but I truly thought that they were just specs of lint on my lens until they started falling fast enough that I realized that was them. Those pictures are when they FINALLY got a little closer to the ground. I thought when they landed they would be SUPER pumped and energetic, but I think they were both in so much shock that their reaction was actually really funny!

When Michael landed, he just let out a little laugh and kept looking around.

When Brooke landed, she looked like a scared little kitten. She didn't say a WORD for like 5 minutes and looked breathless for a long time :)

Happy to be alive!

Certified jumpers!

After their skydiving adventure, me, Nick, Tommy, Whitney and my mom went car shopping for my mom. Her car just broke down and she's been desperately trying to find a new one with no luck :( Me, Whit and Tommy stayed in the car the whole time while mom and Nick went in and tried to play hardball. I hate car shopping and was SO glad we weren't looking for one for us!

After car shopping, we went to Rusty and Becky's house for Easter. It was bittersweet because I LOVE getting together with our family and our Easter tradition, but it was hard to be at Becky's house and her not be there. I think the day turned out well overall, but there was definitely a hint of sadness in the air. Easter was her big shindig and she always had so much fun planning and reminding us of the Easter egg hunt rules. She is sorely missed, that's for sure, but on Easter especially, we were reminded that while we miss her down here, she is praising her Savior on the streets of Heaven!!

Tommy participated in his vey first "Junior Division" of the egg hunt! Let me tell you, he was just SOOO excited........yeah. 

He was more interested in putting his legs IN his Easter basket rather than finding the eggs. Imagine that at only 3 months old :)

We left their house around 7pm and headed home. Mom got to go to bed early and daddy put Tommy to sleep. That was such a nice treat! I think I got a full 7 hours of sleep! It was awesome!!

The next morning, we woke up and tried to get ready for church on time---yeah right. At least we tried :) I got distracted and spent a lot of time with Tommy because he did another first. He rolled over!!! From his back to his tummy. It was SO awesome. I knew I was a proud momma, but I truly almost cried when he did it. A little extreme? Maybe. But it was SO exciting!! I got Tommy the CUTEST little suit, but we had some baby drama because Nick thought it was stupid and that Tommy didn't like it and my thought was that Tommy has no idea what he's wearing and doesn't care. But whatever--really a trivial thing on Easter Sunday. He looked like a little stud muffin!

It might just be me, but I see a future movie star here

Do you think he's getting really tired of pictures?!?

He was SO good during church. He sat on Nana's lap most of the time and just watched everything going on around him. Towards the end of the service, he did the usual and fell asleep :) I love cuddling my sweet boy and listening to the word of God being preached. Nothing better.

After church, we ran to Nana's really fast and opened his Easter baskets. He got a playmat from Nana and about 4 outfits from Aunt Brooke. Mommy LOVED his presents.....and so did he, I'm sure :) And whenever you're at Nana's, you have to fit in a family portrait of course.

Then we headed home to do a quick costume change (AKA--get comfortable) so we could head to the raft for the Wilhelm Easter party. It was kind of chilly, so we bundled up. Once we got there, we had ANOTHER huge meal (I feel like we ate all weekend and only came up for short breaths in between bites). Tommy pretty much chilled in his stroller the whole time and then once again..........fell asleep.

cute baby

After a few hours of visiting, we went home. I was in the kitchen cutting up some strawberries and he was once again talking up a storm. So I went over there and was tickling his chubby little legs and he let out his FIRST full blown baby laugh!!! It was the CUTEST thing I have ever heard!! It brought tears to my eyes. Talk about making a joyful noise unto the Lord!! I could only get him to do it a few times and he quit as soon as I hollered for Nick to come and bring the camera (of course).  But it was SO awesome to hear his sweet little grunty laugh!

So this weekend was one of the busiest of my life, but so awesome and so rewarding. Thanks be to God for his blessings of family, food and friends!! Happy late Easter!