Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Come again?

The other night, Nick had to mow the yard and I decided to exceed my wifely expectations and help him. I did this at the risk of knowing he would probably not like the WAY I mowed or the direction in which the cut grass flies (because he's insanely anally obsessed careful with his lawn). But I forged ahead in hopes that I could lessen his work load.

We always take the kids for rides on the lawn mower because they love it and it keeps them entertained for the two hours it takes to complete the yard work. I had Tommy on my lap and we were having fun laughing together and cuttin some grass!

However........we have this power line for our outdoor light that comes down from an angle and anchors into the side of our yard. We go underneath it to mow and it's usually hazard free. But I was getting closer and closer to where the power line meets the ground. I was trying to cut in as close as I could so that Nick wouldn't have to weed eat too much around the base of the line. As I turned left to circle around the line, I turned the wheel pretty sharply (because I was TRYING to get a super close cut to impress my hubs with my mowing skills!!). But the wheels locked in the turning position and the mower would not straighten out. It sent us around the power line a few times and each time, our heads got closer and closer to the line and I fuh-REAKED out!! Not once did my mind think to put my foot on the brake. Nooooo, that would've been too easy. Instead, I screamed for Nick and tried to shove Tommy's head onto my lap so the power line wouldn't snag his neck and drag him off the mower!! Just as I was picturing both of us being decapitated, the wheel unlocked and we shot across the yard like a rock out of a slingshot.

THEEEEEN I thought to put on the brake. Duh. It took traveling across the law at 6 mph warp zone speed to think to myself, "PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN!!!"

Nonetheless, I kicked Tommy off the mower and decided to finish mowing the law by myself. Nick was looking at me like I was a dramatic moron (uh, I'm sorry Nick, but have YOU almost snagged your kids head on a telephone wire?!? No?!? Then don't judge!) and said that it must have been an operator error. Yeah. I was all, "Come again?! Operator error?!"

It happened again as I was turning the corner around the brand new shed we just built. I was making a left and it got stuck and at the last second before I crashed into our 4 day project, it straightened out. I literally missed the shed by mere inches. Again, Nick blamed my lack of mowing skills.

And then................sweet vindication..............

Yup. That just happened, folks. That's the front left tire. On the ground. Off of the mower. As in, it is NO LONGER ATTACHED TO THE MOWER. As I was mowing through our yard, just shortly after the shed incident of 2014, the wheel FELL OFF!! AS I WAS DRIVING!! I felt the mower jerk and all I could think as I watched the wheel roll away from the mower was, "HA!! Operator error, my ass!" Obviously, there had been an ongoing problem with the wheels or shaft or whatever part of the mower that holds all the tires on! I was sad for Nick that he'd have to deal with fixing it, but it felt really good to know that I wasn't crazy and had no part to blame in turning uncontrollable circles on my lawn mower. I practically ran (ok, let's be honest here--I don't run. It was like a quick amble) to Nick to tell him what happened and clapped gleefully when he said, "Oh. You were right."

Yes, sir. Yes I was.

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