Thursday, February 13, 2014

Red Stripe recollection

So this morning I saw a Red Stripe beer delivery truck. And it brought back one of the most awkward memories I have. Don't you love how one smell or sound or beer truck can make your mind flood with things from the past? It took me back to the days of duplex living........

My friend and I used to live in a duplex in a semi-shady part of Wichita. Not the most horrible place to live, not the greatest place to live. But the rent was like $350 a month, sooooo.....it worked! We lived in the back part of it, so every time we wanted to get inside, we had to drive past our neighbor's door or walk past it. His name was Brock and he was a nice enough guy, but our living room wall was the other side of his bedroom wall. And let's just say that Brock got a lot of....action. A LOT. Awkward. He was okay to talk to occasionally, but we were VERY different people.

One day, my roommate was out of town working and I had just gotten home from work at like 10:00pm. I pulled into the driveway and he saw me, so he came out to say hi. I hadn't felt good at all that day and was reeaaaaallly looking forward to going to bed and didn't have the desire to make polite conversation with Pimp-daddy Brock (my affectionate nick name for him). But I tried really hard to be nice and I stopped to talk for a minute. Now, at the ripe age of 22, I didn't quite have the guts to politely tell people no. I was a people pleaser and really wanted to avoid hurting people's feelings or confrontation at any cost. And that night, the cost was high, my friends. I can't even tell you how it happened or what kind of conversation transpired between us, but he ended up telling me he was going to run back to his house really fast to get some Red Stripe beer and he'd be right back.

I prayed in the two minutes he was gone that he would change his mind and not come back. But he came. Holding a case of this........

Yuck. I hate beer. I hated it even more in that moment because I didn't feel good. But it gets worse. He was also carrying this.....
That's right, folks. Your eyes are not deceiving you. A karaoke machine. In my mind, I was all like, "What the whaaa....?!?" But did my gutless 22 year old self say anything that I was thinking--like, "Take your case of Red Stripe and your fancy singing machine and get the crap outta my house!"? No. My wimpy 22 year old self did NOT say that. I sat with an aching stomach, a burning throat and an INSANE amount of awkward tension in the air and endured TWO HOURS of disgusting Red Stripe and Brock singing karaoke by himself. Alone. And he was actually using the microphone. In my living room. With just me as his audience. And he was getting SO into it. He was singing county and dancing and playing air guitar. I have truly never had a weirder night in my life.

And the weirdest part was that I could tell he didn't think it was weird at all. Here were two people who barely knew each other and I can honestly say I don't think I said more than five sentences the whole night. How could I talk when he was karaoke-ing the WHOLE NIGHT?! How was he NOT picking up the vibe from me that I didn't want him there?!

Now that I look back on it, it's hilarious! I see the whole scenario in my mind and can't help but laugh. Back then, I would've given anything to have my roommate home because she would've told him to get out.......and I wouldn't have had to endure his weirdness by myself.

Anyone else have any awkward memories they want to share?



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