Monday, July 29, 2013

Redemption--part 2

So I wrote about last Saturday. But last Sunday was just as good!

We've been going to the same church for years. And I love it. It was a great church to grow up in and I feel like everyone there knows us and knows about us and has seen me go through almost every stage of life.


In THIS stage of life, I have two small children. And they trump any need that I have. I feel comfortable  in my church, but there's not really a good nursery program. I have tried leaving Tommy in there a few times and feel like he wasn't really comforted or distracted from the fact that I left. I would stand outside the door, waiting for him to stop crying and it wouldn't happen. So I would go in and get him out. We eventually ended up sitting in the balcony (apart from the rest of the congregation) with Tommy and Tessa. And while I loved having my kids in the service part of church, they are too young and too busy to sit still, so we weren't getting to hear any of the service. So I didn't feel like I was getting spiritually fed.

Don't get me wrong--the services I did get to hear were great! I love the pastor that's there now, but I needed to be able to hear it and pay attention to it EVERY Sunday. Not just the Sunday's my kids happened to not be there.

So we decided to try a new church. We went back and forth from The Benton Church to Hope (in Andover) but finally decided that since Tommy would probably end up going to preschool at The Benton Church, we would give it a shot.

And I LOVE it. The music is awesome. They have a full band and it's a lot of popular songs, so I know the words. The message was really good. The people were super friendly. And they have a nursery and the nursery workers were so awesome with the kids.

I'd been trying to prepare Tommy all week for "church school" so he wouldn't be shocked when we left him with strangers. And he was all for it until it came time for us to leave him. Nick had stopped to talk to someone with Tessa, so I took Tommy to the nursery door. He started backing up and saying, "No, mommy! No, mommy!" I tried to convince him everything was fine and it would be fun. I got him through the door and the meltdown began. He was jumping up and down, screaming, "I don't like this! I don't like this! I don't loooooove this!!!" Nick got there with Tessa and we set her down and headed out the door. I felt like the worst mom ever, but knew we would have to go through that at some point. I wasn't prepared for how sad my heart would feel to leave them there crying, but Nick kept me calm. And then I realized I hadn't even told the nursery workers my children's names. Then I felt like a REALLY bad mom!! But I knew if we went back to tell them, the kids would see us and the crying would start all over again. We snuck out of the service a few times to see if we could still hear them crying and after about 15 minutes, we couldn't hear them. I was able to focus a little more after I knew they'd stopped crying.

When the service was over, I ran slowly walked out to the nursery to scoop my babies up. And they were fine! Tommy was playing with a truck and told us he got animal crackers and Tessa was sucking away on her paci like a champ!

I'm glad we got the first time over with. It was hard to leave them, but so worth it because my soul felt filled up with Jesus again! It was a great Sunday!

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