Monday, June 10, 2013

The B Word

Well, it happened. He said his first cuss word. And believe it or not, it was because he was repeating me, not Nick. Which I NEVER thought would be the case! But let me explain....cause maybe that will make me look a tiny bit like less of a bad mom if you know the whole story.

I was SO over work the day it happened. I was tired, left work with a million things that I knew I'd have to come back to tomorrow and I was ready to be home. And I may or may not have been on day 1 of my visit from mother nature. But I had found a recipe to use these left over wonton wrappers we had, so I was excited to get home and make it. You can use them to make ravioli! Genius! I had stopped at the store just to buy ricotta cheese, I borrowed a little bit of italian sausage from Gambino's and headed home to make some home made ravioli for the hubs and kids. I was really excited because I like making semi-home made meals for my family that aren't too complicated.

Nick was already home when I got back from picking up the kids, so I started dinner right away. I was already a little frustrated (not at Nick, just in general) because the kitchen sink had dishes in it (which I HATE, but we had run the dishwasher the night before and hadn't had time to unload anything, so all the dirty dishes were in the sink, waiting to be loaded). I like to start off cooking in a clean kitchen and I like to pick up as I go so there's not a huge mess in the end. But I was in a hurry to get dinner started, so I left all the dishes where they were. Then I realized we had NO clean dishes in the cabinets (they were all in the dishwasher), but rather than taking the time to unload it like I should have done, I got the dishes out as I needed them. The ravioli was simple enough to make--but I somehow ended up using 12 plates and bowls to get it all put together, so there were dirty dishes all over the counter as I was working. Sigh.

I should've stopped right there. But I didn't.

I just mixed some ricotta cheese, parmesan, garlic and italian seasoning and spooned some of it onto the middle of the wonton wrapper. Then you use water to seal the edges of the wontons so the filling stays in. At least, that's what the Pioneer Woman said to do. So that's what I did.

But the Pioneer Woman made it look so easy! Just slip the raviolis into boiling water and let them stay in for 3 minutes and then VOILA! The perfect ravioli! What the Pioneer Woman DIDN'T say is if you don't use a crap ton of water to seal the raviolis and actually fold the edges up (resulting in a very ugly ravioli), the filling will burst out into your boiling water and make it look disgusting and VERY unappetizing. She also didn't say that they would all stick together, forming one gigantic morphed ravioli that has no filling so is really just a bunch of wet wonton wrappers clumped together.

*disclaimer--as I'm typing this, it really doesn't seem as dramatic and hectic as it FELT that night*

So in the midst of trying to dismember the huge clump of wet wonton wrappers, I got super irritated that my semi home made raviolis were not working out and bummed that my nice dinner for the hubs and kids was being ruined. Plus, there was ricotta cheese and italian sausage floating all around the boiling water, so I was going to have to start over by re-heating a clean pot of water to do the rest of the raviolis in. It was at that point that my thoughts flew out of my mouth. I maaaay have said in a very mocking tone something along the lines of, "Nick, it's not working! The women on pinterest make things look SO easy....crazy b*tches."

Now. Let's stop for a moment and try to get around the fact that I said the b-word. I didn't mean it. And as soon as it came out of my mouth, I felt bad for saying it. And I thought I had said it much quieter than I said the rest of the sentence. But apparently, I did not. Because no more than 5 seconds later, I heard from the living room the tiniest little voice say, "Yeah, dose dazy ditches!"

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I think I did a little of both. Nick was having a VERY hard time holding in his chuckles and started saying random words to distract himself from what was happening so he'd stop laughing. Tommy (luckily) had no idea what he'd just said and quickly forgot about the whole thing and went on to something else.

To anyone who reads my blog (IF anyone reads it besides my husband--hi honey!), please don't think I'm a horrible mom! Although I truly felt like one at that moment. I never dreamed I would be the one teaching him his first curse word.

Needless to say, I'm trying to watch my words and keep my frustration under control (I've found the best way to do that is to stay out of the kitchen, so it's kind of a win-win ;). I asked God's forgiveness and I know I've got it, but I'll never forget the gut-sinking feeling when I heard my child say something that never should have left his mouth just because he heard his mommy say it.

We are truly examples (good ones or bad ones, I haven't quite figured out yet!). I will work harder to show him and Tessa how they SHOULD be living. We are the only things they have to model their lives after, so I'm going to do my best to show them how to live as God's child. And thank God He gives us grace daily, becaus I obviously SO need it!

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