So in my midweek randoms last week, I mentioned that Nick was going to third shift because he got a promotion. I've not been the most supportive, loving wife during this transition. I've mainly been focused on the fact that it's going to leave ME at home alone during the night and it will leave ME to get Tommy's dinner, bath and bedtime routine done all by myself. And I was not made to be alone, people. I crave fellowship with others and while I love my baby boy, I need adult interaction in order to thrive :) Put me in a solitary confinement cell and I would be the one in the corner rocking back and forth pulling my hair out.
Ladies, have you ever read Proverbs 31: 10-31? If not, you can read it below:
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and she lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Yeah.........(insert deep sigh here). In case you didn't pick up on it, the
massive blob few sentences in red are the ones I REEEEAAAALY need to work on. Granted, I could certainly take a few tips from the entire passage, but there are some in particular that speak to the whole "Nick going to third shift" thing.
She works with eager hands; She sets about her work vigorously; She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness-- Without Nick there in the evenings, I should technically have more time to get stuff done because instead of talking to him and spending time together when Tommy's sleeping, I would be able to do work around the house. But I wouldn't say I set about my work VIGOROUSLY. More like I set about my work, get tired of it in 10 minutes and set it aside to eat a little bread of idleness and watch Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.--Hmm. This verse is DEFINITELY not about me. Fear was the first feeling I had when Nick said he was going to start working 3rd. Fear of being alone at night, fear of losing time with my husband, fear of being solely responsible for Tommy's life and safety for most of the night.
she can laugh at the days to come.--Laughing, I was not. Or smiling. Or being supportive. Or praising my husband for working hard and getting a promotion. I was mainly bitter and grumpy that my family time was being ruined. I was whining about the days to come (have I ever mentioned I am an expert whiner when I want to be?)
She is clothed with strength and dignity; She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.--Soooo, do you think if I'm whining, I'm speaking words of wisdom and that faithful instruction is on my tongue? No. When I'm moping around, I definitely don't feel strong OR dignified.
So this morning, I started thinking about how 3rd shift is affecting my HUSBAND (you know, the guy who actually has to do the hard part and learn a new job with a new crew and get up at 5pm and go to work through the night and get home around 6am and try to stay awake long enough to see his grumpy, idle-bread eating, weak and undignified, whiny wife and teething child for a few minutes before he repeats the cycle?). And I ask myself, would I want to have to adjust my life and meanwhile worry about how to make my spouse happy in a situation that is unchangeable at the moment? He's been awesome. Awesome in a way that truly, I don't deserve right now. The other night he actually apologized while we were discussing the situation. APOLOGIZED. For doing such a good job at work that he got a better position. That's when I really started thinking about my attitude. Because I'm not mad at Nick, I'm upset with the situation. But instead of having a good attitude and trying to help the family adjust to the change, I was being selfish and NOT a Proverbs 31 wife.
I am going to do my best to be a Proverbs 31 wife for my hard workin' man.